iRamble.co.uk

posted by Kate on Jul 19

When I was a teenager people used to talk about ‘the millenium’ and I remember thinking - that’s ages away and I’ll be in my mid forties by then - really old……

Then, old people were cared for by their families at home or moved into a retirement home. these homes were nice places, I know because I used to volunteer my Saturdays to visit and talk to the residents.

But time passes and our government see all things differently now…..

My lovely Mum lived with me quite happily for more than 20 years, she looked after my children while I went out to work and pottered about in the garden on good days - she enjoyed it. She ate properly and had no vices - a nice healthy old age.

But then she suffered a major stroke and against all odds pulled through. It left her wheelchair bound and paralysed down her left side. Three months after that the doctors agreed she could leave hospital but to go where?

My house was not suitable for a wheelchair, hoists and all the other equipment needed - social services said I must find a care home for her. Very reluctantly my daughter and I started to search for a suitable one, and all the while Mum, marbles intact - kept saying she wanted to go home.

Racked with guilt because I could no longer care for her I approached the very home where I had volunteered all those years before. They had a suitable room which we decorated and moved some of Mums furniture and ornaments into, and an ambulance brought her to her new home.

My daughter and I visited every day and every day Mum needed something doing - something the ‘carers’ should have done - like cleaning her teeth or brushing her hair. She didn’t want to mix with the other residents although she did have her meals in the restaurant, she said there were mad people in there. She told me they took ages to answer the bell when she needed the loo and they were some carers that were nice but she felt bullied by others. It was not a happy time for her but I was there every day to pick up the pieces.

Financially, it was difficult - I had power of attorney for her but her money was soon used up and she needed government support.

I sold the house and moved to a bungalow where at least I could get her over in a wheelchair cab and she could advise on decor, plants etc - she loved that.

This all went on for five years and last June she passed away. There is not a day when I don’t think about her and our amazing friendship.

Today, the government think that people should stay in their homes and they will pay to have the home modified - a ‘care’ plan is put into place and ‘carers’ visit up to four times a day.

I was speaking to a ‘carer’ the other day - her clients are fortunate - if she only has 15 minutes to carry out her allocated tasks and they are lonely or upset she will make time for a chat or arrange to go back. This is against the rules though. And Some ‘carers’ don’t bother or worse can’t speak English so they can’t even understand the client!

Also for all we are told to eat properly daily for our health. These ‘care’ plans only advocate microwaveable meals, most of which the clients just refuse to eat, and why not? This is the generation that cooked hearty food for families daily.

These clients are lonely, have no stimulation on a daily basis and when they have no family left are just waiting to die.

Our government should think seriously about reopening the mental hospitals for the needy and making government run retirement homes just what they used to be a place where you could sit with your peers and enjoy a conversation.

I visited my uncle yesterday,  mum’s last surviving brother, he is adorable and at 90 still has his marbles intact. He lives in a bungalow with his child bride of seventy something and SHE is the one who has to have a ‘carer’ visit. so far he is doing incredibly well, talks a lot about the war but then he would wouldn’t he? Still goes down the pub and enjoys holiday in Skegness. He is one of the lucky ones and he knows it.

The moral of this rant if there is one is:

I am in my mid fifties and can see things getting worse for the elderly daily - its just five minutes away for me now. Maybe the healthy lifestyle that everyone preaches is not the best way. We should all do what we want while we are able - the future dos not look promising.

Somebody get me a pint - I know its only 11.00 am but hey I’m alive and I just want one!!!

posted by Kate on Jul 18

Work related stress causes two things in my case - so far one of them has been almost ten weeks off work and this causes the other problem…. more stress worrying about whether I will have a job at the end of this and whether I can survive the time off financially.

In either case it has been a difficult time so far. My family have been amazingly supportive, contacting me daily and arranging visits. My daughter’s greyhound Hippie has given me a great deal of love, company and pleasure, and, I have met many new friends on the way, some virtual and some amazingly real!!

The obvious thing a lot of people do when on long term sick leave is watch an awful lot of TV. I have never watched TV much and he thought of watching some of the daytime rubbish filled me with more dread. Added to the fact that because of the aforementioned anxiety I couldn’t sit down for long without panicking that I should be doing something.

I decided to devise a routine of sorts to keep me sane.

Every morning I get up early, shower and dress - Okay I’m not going anywhere but why become a slob because of it?

Then I make a list of things to do today - at the beginning this was just basic housework and cupboard sorting but they needed doing. then as each task is completed I strike through it. I also try to drive a little every day as that’s where the panic hits me the most - and guess what? I can go quite a distance now. Nothing like I used to but its getting better.

Some days I have to go shopping - I don’t like supermarkets much because the milling throng get in my way - but I do it!

Then there’s my laptop and broadband - thank you God!!!!!

I have my own websites - four of them, much the same as this one, and I hadn’t been keeping up with them at the beginning because it seemed that my creative spirit had disappeared. But then my son showed me how to get to other peoples sites and just read some of their posts. It was great, there are some funny, crazy, wonderful people out there and it made me laugh just reading what they had to say.

There is one special site where an elderly pipe smoking gentleman posts his daily thoughts. Sounds quite gentle eh? Sometimes it is, but sometimes he is controversial, or serious, and sometimes so funny the tears stream down my face. But his persona of being Grandad makes me forgive the swearing etc just thinking he is cantankerous and cannot help it. I have been brave enough to comment on some of his posts and have been pleasantly surprised that he doesn’t ‘give out’ to me like he does with others.

See, if I had a persona I could play act and be ……. what? A cranky old woman? No - I’m not far off that already. A young teenager? God no I remember what that was like. A bloke? I’d never get away with it…

Maybe I’ll just have to be me. I was never any good at pretending.

Anyway I’ll post this as a big thank you to my family and friends both on and offline - you are helping me to get through this! Oh and the house is clean, paintings done, slabs have been pressure washed - its all coming together. Just need to get back to work now!!!!!

posted by Kate on Jul 6

My son and daughter-in-law took me to the Piri Piri Restaurant last Tuesday evening. This is a Portuguese tapas bar/ restaurant in Swindon and an absolute delight to visit.

The menu is long and varied and we decided to order tapas dishes plus bread rather than just one main course each. The waiter was wonderful and explained the menu to us - I speak some Spanish and although Portuguese is a very different thing they’re are some similarities which the waiter was happy to discuss with me - for instance ‘obligado’ is Portuguese for thank you!!!

But to get back to the food.

We ordered Tortilha de Ovo which is a traditional omelette with bacon,onion and Portuguese chourico, Feijão Com Bacon (red beans with bacon bites) and Ensopado De Borrego, a delicious roasted lamb dish made with coriander,garlic and white wine,Batatas Bravas (or fierce potatoes), Enchidos, which is a plate of different cold meats topped with olives, a salad (be warned it carries a spicy dressing), Calamares Fritos - fried squid rings, Almondegas com Salsa (meatballs in sauce).

The bread came out first accompanied by virgin olive oil mmm home made batons - wonderful!

We ordered a bottle of house white wine and soon the familiar small tapas dishes came out and we started to eat. The food was all delicious, I really enjoyed the lamb dish.

A word of warning for the uninitiated the batatas bravas look quite innocuous just nicely cooked potatoes with a sprinkling of spice - but wait…. they are extremely spicy and I could only eat one piece, my daughter-in-law put quite a few pieces on her plate and discovered they were too hot for her. Even my son who loves hot spicy food found them a little too fierce and could not finish them. I asked our waiter what was on the potatoes and he said it was piri piri which is a small fierce chilli and also the name of this restaurant.

All in all it was a lovely evening, not a ‘posh’ restaurant by any standard but it definitely gives a feeling of being in a different country and sampling a new culture. Well worth a visit!!

Obligado senor!!!

posted by Kate on Jul 5

What is with supermarkets and the way they package cheese? My newly purchased slab of Red Leicester was plastic wrapped so tightly the corners were rounded. And, could I open it without hacking into the cheese? No!

Why can’t supermarkets come up with an easy way to open and close cheese so that it doesn’t go dry or sweat so much that it forms mould?

They should take a leaf out the Cathedral City manufacturers book and provide a resealable packet so that consumers can enjoy it all without forever having to chop the edges off.

It really cheeses me off!!!!!